Guest Post: The Six Pound Pear

Today's guest post was written by the hugely talented Chris Berrow. It was his take on our lunch from a couple of weeks ago, which I first wrote about here. 

Let me tell you the story of the six pound pear.

It was a warm (by English standards) weekend afternoon in Grantchester Meadows, and a group of us decided it might be a good idea to have a pub lunch at the Red Lion.

(Or surely the Pink Lion?)

Because us Brits are accustomed to a cheeky rain barbecue, AND the sun was technincally “out”, we optimistically decided to brave the cold and sit in the garden area.

It wasn't long before we were hungerstruck, and so we ventured inside to see what was on the menu.

It looked good, and I went for fish and chips.

While ordering at the bar, I knew something was up...

“I'm sorry we don't bring food out into the garden area” they said.

“OK, should I just hover on the terrace and you can pass the plates to me over the one metre of grass between our table and the area you do bring food to”? I said.

“Hmmm, OK I guess we can bring food out into the garden area”. They said. 

1 – 0 to me.

When the food arrived it was good and reasonably priced too. All was well with the world. 

But that was all about to change.

“Does anyone fancy pudding?”

“No”, said the men manfully. 

“Yep” said the girls, “but we're quite full, so why don't we share something?”

And there it was, right in the middle of the pudding menu, the special of the day. 

The “six pound pear”.

Now you might be thinking, SIX POUNDS? Wow that's a big pear! How could ANYONE take that much pear?

But this pear didn't weigh six pounds. It cost six pounds.

Now that's a lot of money for a pudding, so you'd think this pear would be pretty damn special.

This is what arrived...

(Note the insulting half strawberry)

Are you actually serious?

I mean aso;jaksnc iod qkwndlkasM LSA MS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

“Excuse me”, I said in my politest voice to the man “do you really think that's £6 worth of pear?”.

“Do you not want it?” He said.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“No I don't think we do” all four of us politely replied.

“Oh, OK then”, the man said. 

Thankfully we did manage to get a refund, and honestly it didn't really spoil our lunch. In fact it was hilarious. 

So did I have a good time at the Red Lion in Grantchester? Yes. 

Would I order fish and chips there again? Yes. 

Would I order the six pound pear again?

It's highly unlikely. 

You can follow Chris on Twitter @DJChrisBerrow